Background: When a parent loses its child life will change drastically and assume other conditions. The loss of a child affects the whole human existence, the grief can be very intense as well as in-depth and find expression both on an emotional, physical, mental and spiritual level. Aim: The aim is to describe parents’ experiences of losing a child to illness. Method: Graneheim and Lundmans manifest content analysis method was used to the method based on qualitative raw material in forms of three Swedish autobiographies. Results: The analysis resulted in three categories "interactions in existential chaos", "the unimaginable has happened" and "to live with the grief". The categories describe different stages in the loss of a child, from the contact with health professionals to fighting their way through and live with the grief following the death of their child. Conclusion: The interaction parent’s get from health professionals have big impact on the experience of losing their child. It is not possible to escape from the grief that manifests when you lose a child, the grief has to be processed during a long time but this is necessary for the ability to get through the grief and to finally get on with life.