The spouses of people suffering from dementia are commonly first-in-line caregivers. This canhave a considerable effect on their own lives, health and marriages. Several studies havefocused on spouses’experiences, but very few have focused in any depth on their descrip-tions of themselves as subjects. Therefore, the aim of this study is to describe how spousecaregivers can express themselves when living with and caring for their partners withdementia. The study has a qualitative approach with a discourse analysis design and usesanalytical tools such as rhetoric, subject positions and categorization. The results reveal threesubject positions: as an actor, as a parent and as a survivor. The results show that as spousesstruggle with external and internal clashes as subjects, they therefore need to develop copingstrategies. They also experience pronounced loneliness and a risk to their own health. There isthus a need to support these spouses as individuals in their differing and changing needs.