The aim of this qualitative study was to describe, from their own perspective and experiences, how siblings of children with deficits in attention, motor control and perception (DAMP) and Asperger syndrome cope with their life situations in their families. Fifteen adolescent females 12–18 years old, siblings of boys with DAMP (8 subjects) and Asperger syndrome (7 subjects), were interviewed. The method used in sampling and analysis of interview protocols was the constant comparative method for grounded theory. The inductive categorization of data produced two core concepts, one about the siblings' life situations in DAMP and Asperger syndrome (‘dilemma of requirements and concerns’) and one about the siblings' coping processes (‘harmonizing’). Of the six categories identified, four were categories of the processes of coping (‘gaining understanding’, ‘gaining independence’, ‘following a bonding responsibility’ and ‘balancing’). The qualitative differences between coping processes were related to the two categories of context to cope within the experienced dilemma ‘requirements’ and ‘concerns’. The findings contribute to a deeper understanding of the siblings' life situations, and may be important for health personnel in encounter families and for identifying siblings with special needs. The findings may also aid in the development of preventive programs for siblings of children with DAMP and Asperger syndrome.