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Although there is an increasing interest in siblings' experiences of loss and grief there is limited knowledge of adolescent's own perspectives, especially in a unique situation as after stillbirth in a reconstituted family. The authors interviewed 13 bereaved adolescents. They were sad that their family was not the same and expressed feelings of being inside family grief, yet outside, because they did not have full access in their reconstituted family. An implication of present findings is that it is important to include all the members of the family in the grieving process, even half-siblings of the deceased child.

OBJECTIVES: to describe the grief of mothers and fathers and its influence on their relationships after the loss of a stillborn baby.

DESIGN: a postal questionnaire at three months, one year and two years after stillbirth.

SETTING: a study of mothers and fathers of babies stillborn during a one-year period in the Stockholm region of Sweden.

PARTICIPANTS: 55 parents, 33 mothers and 22 fathers.

FINDINGS: mothers and fathers stated that they became closer after the loss, and that the feeling deepened over the course of the following year. The parents said that they began grieving immediately as a gradual process, both as individuals, and together as a couple. During this grieving process their expectations, expressions and personal and joint needs might have threatened their relationship as a couple, in that they individually felt alone at this time of withdrawal. While some mothers and fathers had similar grieving styles, the intensity and expression of grief varied, and the effects were profound and unique for each individual.

KEY CONCLUSIONS: experiences following a loss are complex, with each partner attempting to come to terms with the loss and the resultant effect on the relationship with their partner.

IMPLICATIONS FOR PRACTICE: anticipating and being able to acknowledge the different aspects of grief will enable professionals to implement more effective intervention in helping couples grieve both individually and together.

Background:

It has been argued that having a stillborn baby in the family affects older siblings more than parents realize. The aim of this study was to describe parenthood and the needs of siblings after stillbirth from the parents' perspective.

Methods:

Six focus groups were held with 27 parents who had experienced a stillbirth and who had had children before the loss. The discussion concerned parents' support to the siblings, and the sibling's meeting, farewell, and memories of their little sister or brother. Data were analyzed using qualitative content analysis.

Results:

The overall theme of the findings was parenthood in a balance between grief and everyday life. In the analysis, three categories emerged that described the construction of the theme: support in an acute situation, sharing the experiences within the family, and adjusting to the situation.

Conclusions:

The siblings' situation is characterized by having a parent who tries to maintain a balance between grief and everyday life. Parents are present and engaged in joint activities around the stillbirth together with the siblings of the stillborn baby. Although parents are aware of the sibling's situation, they feel that they are left somewhat alone in their parenthood after stillbirth and therefore need support and guidance from others.

This study aims to capture parental descriptions of how siblings take leave of and mourn a stillborn brother or sister and how their parents support them. Data were collected by questionnaires from 16 parents of siblings to a stillborn child one year after the stillbirth. Data were analysed numerically for the multiple-choice questions and content analysis was used for parental comments and descriptions. The results describe siblings’ farewell to a stillborn brother or sister and how their parents in the midst of their own grief were involved in supporting siblings’ wellbeing, and observed their mourning reactions. Although the findings need to be interpreted with caution, they may provide insight that enables staff to become more sensitive to the whole family experience in the practice of their profession. Further research into siblings’ grief and parental support after stillbirth is crucial so that further light may be shed on their situation.